- "Who Made the Man" by The Staples Singers -
There is no escaping then.
Oh god! Well, at least we won't have to put up with
squall grunts and monkey squeals.
I hope they're still on each other.
Like white on rice.
What?
Uh, you just gossiped.
That was an observation. Jeez!
You don't have to get defensive. We're
developping similar interests.
- Gossip. - How?
Hi, how are you guys?
How is the beautiful mother-to-be?
What was that for?
He doesn't like being referred to his mother.
Why? You should be proud that you're a mother.
I'm not a mother, okay, Jenny?
Can you get that?
Okay.
- Jenny, stop it. - Stop what?
What she did?
I was doing absolutely nothing.
I'm simply saying that you look beautiful.
You have these, these breasts now.
You know, you have hips and you're curvaceous,
and you're becoming womenly now.
I'm not trying to be
insulting. I'm just saying you should be proud
to be a mother, a beautiful mother.
You know?
The fact of the matter is
most women look terrible when they are pregnant.
Why is she so sensitive?
Really unbelievable.
Hey, are you crying?
I hate her!
I hate these fucking hormones! I hate these hormones!
I hate these tits and I hate these
fucking hips and I hate Jenny Schecter!
Well at least, someone talked about it.
I know we were all kinda just ignoring it.
I can't believe they're gonna have that baby.
Well,
it was too late not to.
Poor Max.
Why though?
About a couple months from now,
all people are gonna see is two gay dads.
And they get to have the baby together.
I think he kind gets to have it all.
- When is she due? - He.
I thought you guys were going to Vegas.
Loveland Nevada. Tomorrow morning.
What's in Loveland Nevada?
I know who stole the negative.
You know who stole the negative
- of "Lez Girls"? - What are you talking about?
Oh my god, I just had the epiphany.
It was William that stole the negative.
That doesn't make any sense. Why would William,
who produced the movie, steal the negative?
Okay? He's already like 90 million dollars.
Because I overheard him having this conversation,
and he was talking about
burning down one of his buildings
for insurance reasons.
It was so shady!
So you're saying he faked the whole thing
- just to make an insurance claim? - Yes.
Well, I know he was nervous, but,
that's extreme.
Well yes.
There's Kelly.
Well, if what you say is true, then you should
proceed carefully.
See you.
It's true.
Tina, what's in Loveland Nevada?
A potential birthmother.
We had this amazing conversation with her on the phone.
She knows that you're a bunch of gays?
Yep, she knows all about us.
- Fantastic. - This is you gay girl hang out?
Very queen, Bette.
Everyone, this is Kelly.
- Hi. - Kelly, this is everyone.
- Hi. Nice to meet you, guys. - And you remember Tina?
- Of course. - Hi, Kelly.
- "Brown Bag" by Boogaloo Joe Jones -
- Who is that? - Kelly Wentworth.
She was getting her undergrad at Yale when
Bette was getting her M.F.A.
Anyway, our birthmother?
She lives in Loveland and
she seems pretty cool.
She's completely okay with us being lesbian
and the father of her baby is african american.
- That's nice. - It's great.
Angela'll love that.
- Yeah. - Right?
- You're doing so well on that. - Oh, shut up!
- What do you mean? - Well, she's gossiped,
it's fantastic.
She's in the conversation.
Come on!
Tina, why is Kelly Freemont here?
But you said it was Kelly some else?
Wentworth was a married name, but Freemont
was her name when she was in college.
And she was a vixen.
Did they...?
No, no, no, no, nothing.
- Not even first base. - Excuse me.
My sister almost killed herself over that B.I.T.C.H.
What?
Oh my god!
What the
fuck?!
What... what is going on here tonight?!
- What? Is she a stalker now? - Yeah.
She is so insane if she thinks she's gonna get near Helena.
She is insane.
She has a meeting with you.
No, I actually have a meeting with the filmmaker.
Maker...
Oh my god!
She set me up!
That is so sly...
Banquet room C.
What are you doing?
This thing is so tight.
It's so uncomfortable.
Can't you go to the bathroom? People are looking.
Conditioning the tissues
around the vaginal opening prepares
the perineum to perform. So dads,
make sure you scrub your hands and keep your thumbnail trimmed.
Propping her against the pillow,
spread her legs apart.
Go on, try the position right now.
Good. Okay.
You need to come around here, in front of her.
Just right down in front. Good.
- How you're doing? - Great.
Good.
Your turn.
Come on in front.
Don't be shy.
In front of her.
And spread her legs apart.
Sorry,
spread the legs
wide? Yeah, wider.
Good.
So,
you can use pure vegetable oil
or a water-soluble lubricant like K.Y. Jelly.
Not a petroleum based oil.
Insert your thumb,
or thumbs or finger, which ever you prefer,
as deeply as you can inside her vagina.
And, while you massage,
hook your thumb on to the size of the vaginal canal
and gently
pull the tissues down and forward.
Just like this.
Some of you might already know how much pleasure
this can give her.
Dick collected, but it was just as an investment.
Why have you and Dick had wide a collection?
It's my collection now.
- "Johnny Hammond Boogaloo" by Johnny Hammond -
Do you know this artist? Liz Craft?
Sure. I put her on a show when
I was at C.A.C. Provocations.
It was her first museum show.
It's amazing to me
that you've always had this passion,
and you've just stayed true to it.
It's something that I've always dreamed being a part of.
God! Having a shit lot of money certainly helps.
So why an art gallery?
You know I've always loved contemporary art.
I mean, going back to Yale, when you
TA'ed for Scully's class?
Then you gave me that, Bette. You did.
It was a gift.
Well that's nice of you to say.
What do you want?
I'm not gonna lie to you, Tina.
Oh, it's too late. You already did.
If my agent had given you my real name,
you never would have seen me.
I'm not here looking for a job.
Well, that's a good thing
'cause the last project really didn't end so well.
Look,
I'm really sorry for what I did.
You believed in me as a director, you,
you gave me a chance and I completely betrayed your trust.
I'm so sorry for that.
But,
I'm here because I have nothing to lose.
Helena is the love of my life
and I would give anything
for another chance to be with her.
And you want me to help you.
No, I can't.
I'm sorry, Dylan. I can't.
- "6:30 Blues" by Boogaloo Joe Jones -
Can you introduce me to artists that you think are exciting?
Because I really want people to pay attention
to what I'm creating here.
I don't think that you have trouble
getting people to pay attention to you, Kelly.
Then point me to who I should pay attention to.
I wanna know what you know.
It's taken me 20 years to know what I know.
I mean, you've been at this what, nine months?
That's why I need your help.
It's just simply not possible.
But I'll tell you what.
If you're really serious about this thing,
I mean if you
really wanna be a player and
you really wanna be taken
seriously in the art world,
then the best way I could think of to help you,
to make your gallery a contender is if
I would come and work with you.
What about CU?
I resigned.
Wait a second. That's big news.
Why?
I love the art world, like you said and
I think I just
missed being in the trenches.
And so you wanna come work for me?
What?
Oh, not in your wildest dreams.
I mean, if you think that,
just because you won 50 million dollars
- in some divorce. - 89!
- 89 million. Whatever. - Please don't forget that.
If you think that in any way
remotely qualifies you to be my boss
we could just air-kiss good-bye right now.
What I'm offering you
is to be your partner.
And she said that you were the love of her life.
Love of her life? Are you fucking kidding me?!
What can we offer you in the way of protection?
Nothing. I'm fine.
Look, I appreciate your concern.
All of you.
- Well, go on, then. - Are you sure?
- Yes! - Alright, alright.
She's been living in San Fransisco,
she move back to L.A. because
her dramatic short got accepted into Outfest.
Oh that's rich, so
she's a gay filmmaker now?
Here's her card.
"Do Ask, Do Tell Productions"
- Oh, please. - It's like she's a buzzard and
she's waiting to sweep down and eat what's left of your carcass.
Lovely image, Alice. Thank you.
Guys, we have to figure out someone who we can set her up with.
- There's anyone. - No, no, no,
I don't wanna be fixed up with anybody.
- Shh, we're trying to think. Just... - Jodi!
- What is this? Recycling? - What?
Plastic/paper lesbians? Someone new, someone fresh.
What about Jamie?
- Oh my god, you're brilliant! - Right?
You're... My girlfriend is brilliant.
Of course she's brilliant.
But guys, come on, come on.
- You guys! - Okay.
This girl is so... We recenty met her.
She's rad, she is... We went bowling with her.
- Her name is Jamie Chen. - Yeah, she's the director
of Youth and Family Services at the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center.
And she is
- beautiful. - Yeah.
And she is very very dedicated.
- Which is a great thing. - Yeah. And she's single.
Which I mean is very rare.
So, I see nothing wrong.
I think we should...
I think... I'm calling. I'm gonna do this thing.
Yeah, hey, no, wait. Let me call her.
No, I'll call. I'll get it.
Suddenly I don't a say in, no matter what?
It's such a good idea.
Hey, Jamie? It's Alice.
I know. We...
When I dropped the ball, I know.
Listen, I'm at The Planet with Tasha, and
we were just talking about
this little idea when it ran by you.
Yeah. No, she's here.
Yeah. Tash? She wants to say something.
Hello?
What? What?
No, I'll totally help you. I will.
Yeah, for sure. Okay.
Alright. No, I'm gonna hold you back to Al...
I'm gonna give you back to Alice. Okay. Bye.
She just bought a 56 Norton Dominator.
It's a motorcycle.
Okay, so...
I want you to say yes, okay?
Because you're gonna thank me at your wedding.
We wanna set you up with a really good friend of ours.
- Oh, it's fine. I'll do it. - Yeah, her name is Helena Peabody.
No, she's in the same place. So that's perfect.
What do you think?
Great! Okay. You're gonna totally thank me.
Okay, you're the best. We'll call and then arrange it.
Alright? Bye.
Yes! We should have like a diner or something.
No. Diner.
- No, you're gonna love her. - You'll love her.
I'm sure I am. You two are so excited about her.
Definitively I will.
- Yes, she's so cool. - Yeah, she's really chill.
- Once you've... yeah... - It will be fun.
- It's gonna be great. - Thank you.
Okay. You guys?
Oh, great.
I have a really good feeling about this.
I think it's gonna be a lot of fun.
Okay. So it's called clutter cleaning, right?
And the concept is that you clear out
your house and your life and
it's a really good thing to do when you're starting
a new project or a new relationship.
Or when you wanna get rid of your shit.
So, here you go.
I thought that we could start in my closet. I mean,
you know, I don't think there is too much to get rid of, but,
I'm sure there is a few things in here
that I can stand to get rid of.
- "Boomchi" by Koko Dozo -
Come on.
Alright.
I'll hold your bag?
No, no, no. You have to participate.
- Oh, come on! - It's symbolic!
It's all about making choices, Shane.
I will start. Okay.
For example,
this
reminds me of my Jean Seberg look,
which I am not that into anymore.
I liked your Jean Seberg look.
I did.
Well, your turn.
Come on, it's not my place.
Of course it's your place! Just tell me
what represents a facet
of my personnality that
I should just be getting rid of.
Should I...
- ... just get... - That's, that's a tricky question.
Okay, okay, I'll do it again. Okay. Me again.
For example,
these remind me of Tim.
Right? Of
my post
college mentality when I was still,
you know, in my student world, right?
It was also inner schrinck mentality.
- Okay, your turn. - Alright, alright.
Oh, how about this?
I actually remember this. I really do.
Wasn't this during your
time you eloped?
That reminds me of Marina.
- Oh, Jesus me! - No, seriously.
- She was my first love. - And no one understood why.
Seriously, tell me what
I should get rid of.
I don't believe in changing people.
Please!
Get out of here.
Move.
Oh my! You have so much shit!
- Not really. - I mean you really
could get rid of half of this and still have so much more!
Oh, this shit.
- No! - You never use this.
My art supplies! No way!
Do you know that one day a foundation
is gonna want all these little bits and pieces?
Picasso, you haven't used these since we've been living together.
But that doesn't mean I won't start, okay?
- Let's put these back. - Alright.
Okay, what else?
- That. - No!
- Oh god! Alright. Okay. - I can't. That's, that's designer.
What else? Come on! Where are you going?
I'm just not okay with it.
It's just that simple.
I thought we got through this.
Oh yeah, we just sort of when you were blatantly flirting with her
right into you introducing her
as your business partner.
You know what, Tina? I'm not gonna spend
the rest of my life on probation.
I'm just not.
You're right. I'm sorry.
Wait, wait, wait.
We don't need all that.
I told Angie three books and three videos.
- Three books is not enough. - Yes, it is.
No, she goes through three books so quickly. What about Henry?
It's just one night, Bette.
I'm sure she'll be fine.
I don't want her to miss him.
Okay. Fine.
You know, I just...
I wish you had talk to me about it first, that's all.
I would have. I just, I didn't even know
that I was gonna propose it. It just...
It's a huge decision
you getting back into the gallery business.
I know, but it's what I've always loved the most.
I know. I know.
It's just...
It's really scary right now.
You know, with the house under construction and
my job's not exactly secured.
That's why it comes at such a great time. I mean,
she's gonna make me a partner.
You sound like it's already done deal.
I'm hoping it is.
And this is a business decision, Tina,
you know, and if you don't believe that, then
I suggest you come up with a better solution.
Jenny, I gave away most of my stuff last year when I
donated to the A.P.L.A.
Well, you're wonderful.
So...
Oh my god!
This is from that horrible Paige era.
Alright, get rid of it.
Drop it!
This belongs to that Beverly Hills housewife.
When you were dating her. What's her name?
Cheri Jaffe.
Should be expunged.
Carmen...
I wanna have some sort of
remembrance of her,
however small.
Why?
That's the old Shane.
You know, the one that couldn't honor her commitments.
You're not like that anymore.
- What? - I'm not throwing her away.
You know, if I was gonna start my own gallery,
I'd have to go out, I'd have to get alone.
- I'd have to... - You pretty get alone right now.
There's no way. We're mortgaged to the hell.
But that's my point.
Kelly, Kelly Wentworth ...
Your sister said that you almost killed yourself over her.
What?
Is the taxi ready?
That's a complete exaggeration. And it was, like,
I dunno, over 15 years ago.
Wasn't there somebody that you wanted to kill yourself over
- the last 15 years? I'm sure there was. - Taxi. Mommy, the taxi.
You people want your taxi or what?
- Where's the taxi? Come on. Let's go. - You go with mama T., sweetie.
- "Is It Love" by Mayra Casales -
Can you give me three of this, please?
Okay, well let's do the cheese and the nut loaf.
Sorry I'm late.
Alright. Well,
I'm actually running home so I can look up the ingredients
and then just get what we need.
Okay. I'm super super excited.
Alright. I'll see you very soon.
Jamie's like weirdly perfect, you know?
She's gonna come over early tonight and
we're gonna cook.
We're gonna make like a vegetarian thing.
Isn't that weird though that we're both vegetarian?
You're not vegetarian.
I have been eating so many vegetables lately
like
- extra vegetables. - Cute.
- What about Helena? - What about her?
She's not vegetarian.
No, but either is Tasha.
True.
Everyone's coming over 'cause we're all broke.
Helena's not broke.
But Jamie's not a gold digger, like Dylan,
so that's why we're not eating out.
- That sounds great. - In fact, I feel like
she's kind of the most honest
self-sacrificing person I've met in a really really long time.
I'm just saying she's a new friend and I'm excited and
I just want everything to be perfect tonight. That's all.
For you or for Helena?
Why is Jenny here? You didn't tell me...
I just finished writing. So
I was gonna grab something to eat 'cause I'm starving.
Do you guys mind if I join you?
Sure.
Totally.
Thanks.
Were you smoking?
- Really? - Really.
So what are you making tonight?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You down, you're a good boy.
- Doggy. - He's just doing his job.
I'm really sorry if he scared you.
Come in, please.
I was never this thirsty with Ryan.
They are so cute!
- Here you go. - Thanks.
So, I have no idea,
I have no idea who Ryan's father is,
I mean, we were never married or anything, but,
I'm pretty sure he's the father of Ryan's bigger brother, Jacob.
So you have two children?
Yeah, I know it's...
But I moved back home
after I had Ryan at my mom's...
She helps out with the kids while I'm at work and stuff.
She and my stepdad
are actually just out with Jacob right now.
I obviously can't
really afford another one.
You know what I think? It's admirable
what you're doing to help your family.
Yeah, but also,
my parents don't know about this baby's father
because they would fuck him.
Right, we completely understand.
So, I really loved the pictures of your house that you sent.
All that art work you have is awesome!
Thanks. But actually we're building
a second storey so the baby can have their own
bedroom.
Cool.
So, which one of you is in the movie business?
I am.
What movies have you worked on?
I'm really into all Pixar stuff 'cause of the little guys, but...
I've never done a family movie.
I'd love to.
It would be great.
Actually I just did a movie with Nikki Stevens.
Really?
My God! It's awesome! I love her. She's so cool.
Did you see "Beverly Hills Chihuahua"? Angie loves that movie.
Oh my God, it's weird! That was like our favorite movie.
My stepdad actually cried a little bit when
the german sheppard got his sense of smell back.
But he's really embarassed about it. So don't say it.
Hi, I'm Bette Porter.
- Hi, Tina Kennard. - Hey, Jacky.
You hear about the adoption?
He's gonna play with his Batmobil.
Is it okay if she goes too?
She's okay back there with the boys.
???? toilet underneath them. .
I'm sure they'll be fine.
Which one of you is the mother?
We both are.
I'd like to know how that works.
Tina gave birth to her.
Really?
I would have thought it was you. You're just more...
Yeah, I would have too.
That's why we chose an African-American donor,
so that she would look like both of us.
Well, how does she look like her?
- Could you stop it? - I'm wondering.
Marci, it's OK.
Are you, uh, still together with the father?
No.
He was just a donor. I adopted Angelica from birth.
But you're married.
Well, you know it's funny, we'd always
said that we wouldn't even consider
getting married until there were full and complete equal rights
under the law. It should be a federal law.
That's what we believe. And in some ways,
I mean, having said that I think that we're getting closer to it,
you know, and if, and when this latest ballot measure is overturned,
then I think at that time, we would probably,
think about, you know, whether we really want...
I think she's asking if you are married to a man.
You're kidding?
Mom, they're together with each other.
Like, they're a couple.
And you knew that?
- Yeah. It's my choice, mom. - The hell it is.
You move outta here and you take care of your own kids,
then it's up to you.
I think it's time for
both of you to go.
- Here you go! - You sit.
- "Broken" by Tift Merritt -
What?! Wait a minute. We tell Tasha that,
she's gonna freak out! It's crazy.
Yeah, well, I only lasted for about six months.
My dad was very disappointed.
Why? 'Cause you didn't stay in it?
Why was he?
He comes from a long line of cops. Two of my brothers serve.
So this is a big thing in our family.
Yeah, but you serve in your own way.
Definitively.
That's what I tell him.
And he doesn't believe you?
I don't know. I think what you do is really important.
For sure. I mean,
it's like you save as many lives as a police officer does.
You should come work at the center.
The kids really admire you. You could help so much.
No, and what would I do?
Just your presence would mean a lot.
If you ever want to, I don't know,
maybe do a workshop with them or...
Right.
Oh, and of course there's fundraising.
- It all comes down to fundraising. - Oh my god!
I have no money right now
to give. I mean, I do have rich friends.
Are you really gonna do this one by one?
Yeah, well, I was gonna buy...
Let me show you a trick.
Just trying to...
It's a little trick.
What? Put them away?
No nuts in the nutloaf?
Oh my god...
That's good. That's really good.
I mean, clearly it's not as fast as my,
my system, but,
it's good.
I'm a little nervous.
Oh, Helena is...
She is great. You're gonna... Do not be nervous.
- "Fairy Tale" by Mimi & Teft -
I just love boys' night.
Yeah. I just love looking at all these
beautiful boys.
So what put you off men, honey child?
What didn't?
You got burned?
Well, when you, when you tangle with a man,
you gonna get burned. You know?
Men are just full of shit!
I just enjoy just
hanging out with my girfriend.
Where is that girlfriend of your?
Oh, well, she's at Alice's.
Alice and Tasha are going to try to get
her to get over this Dylan Moreland.
Yeah, see, she's this nasty bitch
that she met a few years back.
So is your lady still hung on this person?
I hope not.
It'll break my heart.
Honey,
anybody who messes with Kit Porter's heart
gonna have to answer to Sunset Boulevard.
And that is not something I recommend.
Well, you go on with your bad self.
I got you.
Yeah, we were saying as you entered
the four of us could maybe go for a midnight walk tonight.
- "Don't Break Away" by Soul Children -
That would be lovely. As long as it's not
Runyon Canyon. You know that place...
I just love Runyon Canyon. Especially at night.
It's always overrun
with unemployed actors and gangsters members.
I don't even care if it's overcrowded. I just fall
on everytime with that incredible view.
Okay. So, this is, this is Helena Peabody.
This is Jamie Chen.
- It's nice to meet you. - It's a pleasure.
Cool.
So we made a nutloaf.
Incredible. It's like meatloaf, but it's nuts.
- That's nuts. - Great.
Cool. Alright.
- "Back It Up" by BETTY -
I tell you what. You call me,
maybe I can teach you many different things.
I'm a really good student.
You're gonna call me, right?
Are you having a good time?
Max, this is Gerard. Gerard, Max.
So you make sure you call me, okay?
- That's rude. - He was just being friendly.
It's what guys do.
Whatever.
How would you feel?
I would feel like you were a living breathing human being
who wasn't trying to pretend you didn't notice a hot guy.
Hi, handsome.
What're you drinking?
Mineral water.
It's not so bad.
Just a few more months, right?
Thanks.
I'd better go.
Alright. Go talk to him.
I'm sorry.
All these things are happening to my body,
and they totally go against how I feel about myself.
I guess I'm just a little scared, okay?
I just feel things so intensely. It's driving me fucking nuts.
But I love you, all right?
And I know you're gonna be a great dad.
And I'm really excited to start a family with you.
I'm sorry.
Oh, I picked that up.
Oh my gosh, you were so cute!
Look what a little tomboy you were.
Oh, yeah, I was.
And look how girly she turned out!
I wanna have a lot of kids.
What about you?
- Well, you know, I think about it. - I think I want like 2 or 3.
If things turn out that way.
- "Dreaming" by Lucia Iman -
So you really wanna kids, huh? After you work with them all day?
Oh my gosh, yes, I love them.
You don't want kids?
I do, I do, I do. Yeah.
Probably a lot of them.
Helena has kids; she has two. A boy and a girl.
Oh, you do?
I don't have custody, though. My ex does. Their other mother.
Oh, but you see them?
Yeah, every couple a month.
She took them and moved to the south of France.
You only see your children every couple a month?
That must be really hard.
Yeah, but she won this
court ruling which my family supported her on. So...
Oh, god! I sound like the worst mother on the planet.
- Scrabble? - Yeah.
- What do you think? - If you want me to kick your ass.
Oh please, as if.
Actually, I don't think I wanna play a word game with you two.
Let's play monopoly or something.
- I love monopoly too. - Helena?
Monopoly? Scrabble?
You know what actually? I can't. I've got to go.
It's our first boys' night
at the Hit bar. I should be there.
But you know what? This is being...
This is being great. It's been lovely. It's been delicious.
Do you wanna take some nutloaf to go?
I can wrap some up for you.
No. I mean, it was lovely, but I'll probably,
- I'll... It was so good to meet you. - It was so nice to meet you too.
- I'll see you soon. - You're really nice. Thank you guys
for organizing this. That was great.
Alright. See you, Tasha.
- She's a really great girl. - Yeah,
she's good. She's great.
Yeah, she's nice.
Alright, we tried.
Alright.
Have fun.
I'll talk to you later.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I went to the Planet. I just...
I'm at a loss, Helena. I don't know what to do.
Have dinner with me.
I'll let you know when.
Fuck!
Look, you are gonna love it.
Alright, let me see.
It's an office!
I turned your bedroom into an office!
- You what? - Well, I've been wanting
to have an office so
I didn't have to write in the kitchen
and now that we're sleeping together, I just thought that
this would actually be perfect.
- No! - Come on. Just think about this.
If you don't have to tiptoe around me late at night?
Are you testing me?
Is that what this is about? Are you, are you...
Are you...
I mean, are you putting on the Crazy Jenny Show
just to see how far you can push it with me?
Is that what this is?
What are you doing? What?
I can change it back.
We are obviously in different places in our life.
I don't need you to change this back. I just ask
that next time,
when you do something like this, you talk to me about it.
- Okay, I'm just stupid. - Will you stop?
- Stop, don't... Do me a favor. - Absolutely everything...
Don't get melodramatic right now, okay?
Please.
Do you hate me?
Do you love me?
I do.
I love you.
I do.
That's the only part of my job that I kinda hate
but I know important it is,
and I'm always trying to come up with something different.
Oh yeah. I know I hate fundraising diners.
- Rubber chicken dinners. - I used to have to go to them
when I used to be in the service.
And the worst part is the entertainment.
My grandma could do a better job than that.
I know, I'm serious! She really could!
I went to one in college that was cool.
I used to be an Act UP.
Did I tell you that? Yeah.
And it was like a dance marathon kind of a thing.
- It was good. - Oh my god, I love that idea.
Yeah, it sounds fun.
Yeah, because we have these kids
that are like amazing dancers at the center.
Is that something we could do?
I wouldn't have the first idea how to go about it.
Well, you just get like a cool space,
like Hit or something. It won't be hard.
So...
So what?
No, I don't... I'm just saying it's a good idea.
Don't you think she'd be really good at this?
Yeah, you seem so interested and you don't have a job. So...
- What are you saying? - Oh come on, you're born to do this.
You'd be great event chair. Please.
- Please, please? Would you help me? - What?
- Well I'll help you, of course. - Oh, thank you. Thank you!
- You're so wonderful. - But you're helping.
- I am? - Yes, you are.
Yes, you are. Thank you. Oh my god, you're just so great!
Thank you. Thank you so much. It's gonna be so cool.
Yeah, it'll be good. Totally.
Why can't a man just come up and say
what's on his mind?
Well, you tell me what it'd sound like to you.
Back in the day, when I was all men up and,
and I was waiting for something good,
I had this fantasy.
Share it, girlfriend.
I was shopping at Gelson's for groceries,
when
this straight-up
brother comes up to me.
No bling, no attitude.
- "The Fruit Machine" by The Ting Tings -
And he says to me, "You are one"
"beautiful woman"
"and I would just love to wake up with"
"your arms and legs wrapped around me"
It sounds nice.
Hey, what's wrong?
Nothing.
I don't get why you're so pissed at me.
I'm not pissed. I'm just tired.
You looked hot at the club.
All those guys were checking you out.
Guys were checking you out too.
They were trying to figure out if I was pregnant or just fat.
You know, it's getting old, Max,
you putting yourself down all the time.
You're right.
I'll try to be so soft replicating.
15 more minutes, honey.
Yeah? Okay. You can, can you hear me?
Don't be discouraged. We're still on the list.
I'm sure we'll find the baby
who's meant to be a part of our family.
I'm just stunned by the ignorance.
Yeah, well, welcome to the rest of America.
I think maybe we've dodged a bullet.
What do you mean?
I don't know. I'm just,
I'm having second thoughts about the adoption.
It's just, you know, it just feels like there are so many things
that are just out of our control.
That's how it is. Everything's out of our control.
But every baby has a genetic imprint.
You know? Whether we like it or not.
And the fact is we don't know anything about Marcy.
Not really. We don't know anything about this baby's father.
And without that family history,
I just don't wanna be inviting that into,
yeah, I don't wanna be exposing Angelica to that
way of thinking.
This will be our baby.
I think we'll have a great influence on its life.
Of course, we will.
I'm just trying to talk honestly with you.
This is my response to what happened today.
Who is it?
It's Marcy.
I hope you don't mind. I was gonna call, but
I don't want Bob and my mom to hear. So...
- It's fine. - Why don't you come in?
- Come sit down. - Okay, yeah, thanks.
I just wanted to...
I just, I'm really sorry
about what happened today. My parents don't
approve, but they don't approve of lots of stuff, so...
- We understand. - These things happen.
Yeah. But I really don't care.
I mean, this is my body, and my baby, and my decision,
and
you're the family that I want my baby to go to.
Are you sure?
Have you met
- the other two couples? - Yeah, I met them. I mean, they're
fine. I just...
I don't like 'em as much as I like you guys.
They're just not as interesting and
this baby, he's gonna have an interesting life.
He?
It's a boy.
Which is another reason why I want you to be
his parents.
'Cause this world needs boys who are gonna do things
different.
And I really want my baby to have a chance at that.
At making this world, you know, just a little better.
So, yeah...
Thank you.
Okay, so I'm not gonna be... So just...
Call me.
What the fuck was that?! I can't take this!
I can't take it!
I'm happy.
It was just a momentary thing.
We're gonna have a baby.
- "Another One" by BETTY -